It was November 23rd 2007 when I received the box. It had been sent wrapped in plain brown wrapping paper with a hand written address. I picked it up and heard it roll. I placed it on the nearest table I could find and quickly opened it. Inside was a metallic box about a foot in diameter.
The cigarettes here aren't what they use to be. When the blast happened I had not thought about cigarettes to store.
I turn around the metal box looking for an opening, its surface smooth and flawless except for a round circle. It wasn't until fall of 2008 when I was able to open the box. The day it happened was a typical moving stuff out of storage I had been collecting. Just throwing it in a box and packing it away. I sat on the carpeted floor with the banana box, the box they use to ship bananas, in front of me and opened it. I heard the phone in the distance and had placed my left hand on the metallic box and it made a noise. I hadn't noticed it at first with the ring of the telephone. I picked up the phone.
"Hello"
"Is this Hortense Faucher speaking?" the voice emitted from the phone.
"Yes it is. May I ask who this is?" I replied.
"Repeat the letters after me, p,t,n,i."
"P, T, N, I . . .what is that?" I questioned as the other line clicked.
"Please hang up and try your call again. If you need help press zero" the recorded telephone operator beamed.
I placed the phone on the receiver and walked over to the banana box. It looked different this time. There were eight letters blocks, small wooden pieces with letters like from the game scrabble,: i,e,f,j,p,s,n,t; and four slots to hold letters in. I looked at them and starred as my mind tried making sense.
"P, T, N, I." I said aloud. All the letters were there. I put the letters in the slots, thinking I had figured out the riddle of all riddles. I sat there and waited. nothing happened.
I went in the other room and started to unpack books to go on the bookshelf. After throwing them on the bookshelves I decided to categorize them. My psychology and mind collection had been my passion. I wanted to read anything from the early pioneers of science and psychology. I noticed one book had a piece of paper sticking from the top. I pulled the book out and opened to the page. Staring on the blank page were four letters: I, N, T, P. The book was about Myers Briggs and the development of personality types. I raced to the box once again and rearranged the letters. Instantly there was a puff of orange smoke that blew from underneath the letters and splattered my face. The letters had fallen into the open box that had a scroll inside.
Monday, June 08, 2009
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Gay Men together: The Review
Gay Men Together: The Review
I sit here in front of my computer; and have processed the retreat from last week. I am always looking at little details that can be annoying at times, but as the Adult with ADD the moving things catch the eyes but our ears are increased in radar skills.
Week Before
I sit there in my car. Taking the overstuffed overnight bag from my friend Bob leaving the bright yellow flashlight with black trim and the red sleeping bag bought at Mardens still in the bag. I come into my room, bedroom, whatever you wish to call it. I flick on the light. There is a closet to the right, a queen size bed with a sandy colored comforter. The desk, nothing more then a cheap kitchen table and two chairs placed on opposite ends from the Ramada Hotel when they were getting rid of their old chairs, using one side for computer stuff and the other side for drawing.
I throw my green overnight bag, unzip it and open the closet. I am naturally bad for matching, which is why I try to buy clothing in one shade, I put three change of clothing per day, besides what the clothes I currently have on. Shorts, underwear, socks, short/long sleeve combo and corduroys. Then a few towels, toiletries, a sweater, a rain jacket and an extra hat stuffing in the sides I then grab my laptop and place a notebook and pen in the front pocket and go into the kitchen adjacent to my room.
I unplug the camcorder from charging and put it into the camera bag. I take a trash bag and roll my comforter up like a sleeping bag. Then I put them all in my car. It was hot on Thursday. I remembered trying to finish quickly because I thought the plastic trash bag with the comforter would burn up for some reason.
I pick up a coffee at Dunkin Donuts, large cream only, I start driving up north as I plug in the GPS. ‘When possible make a legal u turn’ a female voice said coming form the GPS box. I turned around and headed to Sabattus/Wales. GPS made me go in an odd loop as I approached where my Aunt Joanne lived in Sabattus next to the High School only to turn onto the road that I was already on. I continue driving noticing all the buildings around me and thinking they were interesting.
I notice the sign on the side of the road after ‘you have reached your destination’ blared from the GPS. I take a left onto a dirt road. There is a white house on the right side. I park there for a moment. Looking into the window for a light, “hmm; no one here” I go back into my car and light a cigarette starting the car. I back out and continue forward on the narrow dirt road, the green trees on the side make it enclosed. I continue going another mile or two till I pass a few open spots. On the right was a bunch of picnic tables in an octagon shape and on the right side was a fresh green-laid lot.
I pull into a parking lot full of vehicles, not really knowing where to park. I see an empty spot but a jeep is in front me. I park in back of the jeep and step out and look around. I get out of the car and head to a building with a rainbow flag blowing, thinking to myself, this must be it.
I walk on and see a man walking outside. “Do you know where I go to register?” I ask, noticing his nametag said Charlton. He stands tall, slender build, form fitting clothes smiled, “Yup follow me” he said and started walking toward the building in through the porch door. I followed like a puppy dog noticing the shiny metallic purple decorations sticking out of a box in the corner of the porch. I walked in through another door into a large room, and finally into another door. The fire place was to the right and a dozen of men or so were in the room.
“Joe will check you in and then I will show you around.” Charlton said. I looked at the desk and there was a man sitting, I assumed was Joe, later confirmed the name on his tag. “Whats your name hun?” he asked.
“Paul Cote.” He looked through his list and confirmed contact information as I slid eight twenty dollar bills to his side of the table.
“Is that your mazda parked out back of me?” a man said to the left.
“yes it is.”
“I need to go, can you move your car?” he asked.
I got my keys out of my pocket and followed him. Joe commented to Charlton to remember what I looked like and to look for me after I come back. I walk to my car and stick the keys in the ignition. I move the stick into reverse and go into another section of the parking lot, settling next to Bruce and Alan’s vehicle. I get out and go back to the lodge. Charlton motions me.
“Take one of the big brown bags, and the envelope with your name on it.” I do as he instructs.
“You know what cabin you’re going to?” Charlton states.
“No” I respond.
A shorter husky build man popped over. “Hey, I am Ken; I can show you the cabins.”
Ken goes out the front door with me following close behind. I notice his firm buttocks almost instantly and his demeanor. We walk to the left cabins. I notice pink pieces of paper attached to the cabins. “Reserved” printed on them. As we continue down to the end there is none without a pink piece of paper. “Looks like there is none here on this side, lets go to the other end.” He turns around and starts back to the lodge and continues past some pink flamingos.
Another pink sign on the first few cabins. “should I have reserved a cabin? I question Ken. “No, theres always room, some people just prefer to stay with certain people” he instructed me. Cabin #1 turns out to the lifeguards’ cabin. We venture on past a few more pink signs. I thought for a moment; is this a good sign having all these pink signs on cabin doors. It seems like people who might be new this year or doesn’t reserve get stuck pretty much with leftovers.
We walk to Cabin #2. “How about this one” Kens says standing in the cabin.
“Lets look some more” I tell him. We head into Cabin #3. Ethan, recognizes me and comes over to me hugging and getting all touchy-feely. “You should stay here” he tells me. I tell Ken I will stay in this cabin reluctantly. Ethan follows me to my car as I unload my bags. He takes the laptop bag and the sleeping bag and I take the other bags and head over. I am in the top bunk, Ethan on the bottom. A full cabin from the looks of the mattresses covered with sleeping bags and pillows.
I place the green overnight bag on the bed with my comforter. I unpack some of my toiletries and place them in the bathroom and above the fireplace. The woodstove is in front and unlit at the moment. Ethan’s computer is adjacent to his bed as he shows me his fleshlight and other misc items he brought. His computer is on and he is looking through his music.
Thursday Night
Snoring in the room as I lay there looking at the curtain.
Smoking Tent. [Jack, Joe, Charlton [talking about getting filled and his hair curl], Ron [brown university costumes bulging jeans], Bob [cigars], Dan [photos]
Friday
Pasta/Meatballs
Moved into Cabin #13 [Paul, Guido]
Opening Night with minister and his son
Opening Ceremony
Gay Jeopardy – Alan in the same group left handed.
Cards
Saturday
Workshops [Focus Group]
Kitchen Duty [Salad, Meat and Naked Waiters, Mike]
Carl and Ethan playing guitars together.
Talent Show
Sandwiches/Hot Dogs
Steak/Tofu
Sunday
Brunch
Walking back and Carl is playing his guitar.
Closing Ceremony
I sit here in front of my computer; and have processed the retreat from last week. I am always looking at little details that can be annoying at times, but as the Adult with ADD the moving things catch the eyes but our ears are increased in radar skills.
Week Before
I sit there in my car. Taking the overstuffed overnight bag from my friend Bob leaving the bright yellow flashlight with black trim and the red sleeping bag bought at Mardens still in the bag. I come into my room, bedroom, whatever you wish to call it. I flick on the light. There is a closet to the right, a queen size bed with a sandy colored comforter. The desk, nothing more then a cheap kitchen table and two chairs placed on opposite ends from the Ramada Hotel when they were getting rid of their old chairs, using one side for computer stuff and the other side for drawing.
I throw my green overnight bag, unzip it and open the closet. I am naturally bad for matching, which is why I try to buy clothing in one shade, I put three change of clothing per day, besides what the clothes I currently have on. Shorts, underwear, socks, short/long sleeve combo and corduroys. Then a few towels, toiletries, a sweater, a rain jacket and an extra hat stuffing in the sides I then grab my laptop and place a notebook and pen in the front pocket and go into the kitchen adjacent to my room.
I unplug the camcorder from charging and put it into the camera bag. I take a trash bag and roll my comforter up like a sleeping bag. Then I put them all in my car. It was hot on Thursday. I remembered trying to finish quickly because I thought the plastic trash bag with the comforter would burn up for some reason.
I pick up a coffee at Dunkin Donuts, large cream only, I start driving up north as I plug in the GPS. ‘When possible make a legal u turn’ a female voice said coming form the GPS box. I turned around and headed to Sabattus/Wales. GPS made me go in an odd loop as I approached where my Aunt Joanne lived in Sabattus next to the High School only to turn onto the road that I was already on. I continue driving noticing all the buildings around me and thinking they were interesting.
I notice the sign on the side of the road after ‘you have reached your destination’ blared from the GPS. I take a left onto a dirt road. There is a white house on the right side. I park there for a moment. Looking into the window for a light, “hmm; no one here” I go back into my car and light a cigarette starting the car. I back out and continue forward on the narrow dirt road, the green trees on the side make it enclosed. I continue going another mile or two till I pass a few open spots. On the right was a bunch of picnic tables in an octagon shape and on the right side was a fresh green-laid lot.
I pull into a parking lot full of vehicles, not really knowing where to park. I see an empty spot but a jeep is in front me. I park in back of the jeep and step out and look around. I get out of the car and head to a building with a rainbow flag blowing, thinking to myself, this must be it.
I walk on and see a man walking outside. “Do you know where I go to register?” I ask, noticing his nametag said Charlton. He stands tall, slender build, form fitting clothes smiled, “Yup follow me” he said and started walking toward the building in through the porch door. I followed like a puppy dog noticing the shiny metallic purple decorations sticking out of a box in the corner of the porch. I walked in through another door into a large room, and finally into another door. The fire place was to the right and a dozen of men or so were in the room.
“Joe will check you in and then I will show you around.” Charlton said. I looked at the desk and there was a man sitting, I assumed was Joe, later confirmed the name on his tag. “Whats your name hun?” he asked.
“Paul Cote.” He looked through his list and confirmed contact information as I slid eight twenty dollar bills to his side of the table.
“Is that your mazda parked out back of me?” a man said to the left.
“yes it is.”
“I need to go, can you move your car?” he asked.
I got my keys out of my pocket and followed him. Joe commented to Charlton to remember what I looked like and to look for me after I come back. I walk to my car and stick the keys in the ignition. I move the stick into reverse and go into another section of the parking lot, settling next to Bruce and Alan’s vehicle. I get out and go back to the lodge. Charlton motions me.
“Take one of the big brown bags, and the envelope with your name on it.” I do as he instructs.
“You know what cabin you’re going to?” Charlton states.
“No” I respond.
A shorter husky build man popped over. “Hey, I am Ken; I can show you the cabins.”
Ken goes out the front door with me following close behind. I notice his firm buttocks almost instantly and his demeanor. We walk to the left cabins. I notice pink pieces of paper attached to the cabins. “Reserved” printed on them. As we continue down to the end there is none without a pink piece of paper. “Looks like there is none here on this side, lets go to the other end.” He turns around and starts back to the lodge and continues past some pink flamingos.
Another pink sign on the first few cabins. “should I have reserved a cabin? I question Ken. “No, theres always room, some people just prefer to stay with certain people” he instructed me. Cabin #1 turns out to the lifeguards’ cabin. We venture on past a few more pink signs. I thought for a moment; is this a good sign having all these pink signs on cabin doors. It seems like people who might be new this year or doesn’t reserve get stuck pretty much with leftovers.
We walk to Cabin #2. “How about this one” Kens says standing in the cabin.
“Lets look some more” I tell him. We head into Cabin #3. Ethan, recognizes me and comes over to me hugging and getting all touchy-feely. “You should stay here” he tells me. I tell Ken I will stay in this cabin reluctantly. Ethan follows me to my car as I unload my bags. He takes the laptop bag and the sleeping bag and I take the other bags and head over. I am in the top bunk, Ethan on the bottom. A full cabin from the looks of the mattresses covered with sleeping bags and pillows.
I place the green overnight bag on the bed with my comforter. I unpack some of my toiletries and place them in the bathroom and above the fireplace. The woodstove is in front and unlit at the moment. Ethan’s computer is adjacent to his bed as he shows me his fleshlight and other misc items he brought. His computer is on and he is looking through his music.
Thursday Night
Snoring in the room as I lay there looking at the curtain.
Smoking Tent. [Jack, Joe, Charlton [talking about getting filled and his hair curl], Ron [brown university costumes bulging jeans], Bob [cigars], Dan [photos]
Friday
Pasta/Meatballs
Moved into Cabin #13 [Paul, Guido]
Opening Night with minister and his son
Opening Ceremony
Gay Jeopardy – Alan in the same group left handed.
Cards
Saturday
Workshops [Focus Group]
Kitchen Duty [Salad, Meat and Naked Waiters, Mike]
Carl and Ethan playing guitars together.
Talent Show
Sandwiches/Hot Dogs
Steak/Tofu
Sunday
Brunch
Walking back and Carl is playing his guitar.
Closing Ceremony
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Pucker Up
Does it ever stop? I tell people what my friend Heather informs me: alcohol brings out the nastiness of Paul. To be honest – I don’t even remember a lot of time the incidences, sexual partners and events escalating to the point… blackouts. With the lapse in time in question, I can hardly be to blame. My mother laughs when I tell her I can switch. “Yea right” she exclaims from the chair she sits.
She sits there in a wooden chair made by Thomas Moser in front of a computer that came out over five years ago. The monitor displaying some word game she has mastered after many hours of devotion. How is it that one can be two? Libra’s strive for balance, through the scales depicted in most illustrations. Is it the world around me I am trying to balance or the being within? Case in point: Am I an Introvert or Extrovert?
The pendulum swings between the substance(s) used and the environment.
With alcohol beer is a slow process and promotes lots of visits to the toilet. I prefer dark brew yet a clear Corona without lime is ok. I do not care for canned beer after Rodney, Chris and I decided to pound down a 24 pack. Don’t ask me when, that is fuzzy.
I used to drink vodka. When I was a teen I would go to my other mother’s house. I would do a shot of vodka, usually the cheapest, in a metal measuring cup. Then the smell made me want to vomit.
Red wine is nice. Bitter and Dry. I like a good pucker. White is ok also. Red Wine after about three glasses makes me a bit warm and sleepy. Lena also enjoys a good red wine.
Bacardi and Coke is my usual. I used to be able to handle my alcohol, if that is the case, and stop at three. One drink for myself before I would attempt at being social with anyone. Two was the social drink where I would look and start socializing and putting in request for music. Three was for the courage to go out dancing and work off the buzz.
Many a times I have been barred from Sportsman's Athletic Club intown, mostly for music issues – breaking my own CD’s from a DJ refusing to return them to unplugging the cords to the system. I cannot say I had a clean appropriate mouth if the music wasn’t danceable. My entertainment went to shits and now I need to find some other type of entertainment…the people.
Could it be what the ego and the id are? I think its time for a visit to Freud.
She sits there in a wooden chair made by Thomas Moser in front of a computer that came out over five years ago. The monitor displaying some word game she has mastered after many hours of devotion. How is it that one can be two? Libra’s strive for balance, through the scales depicted in most illustrations. Is it the world around me I am trying to balance or the being within? Case in point: Am I an Introvert or Extrovert?
The pendulum swings between the substance(s) used and the environment.
With alcohol beer is a slow process and promotes lots of visits to the toilet. I prefer dark brew yet a clear Corona without lime is ok. I do not care for canned beer after Rodney, Chris and I decided to pound down a 24 pack. Don’t ask me when, that is fuzzy.
I used to drink vodka. When I was a teen I would go to my other mother’s house. I would do a shot of vodka, usually the cheapest, in a metal measuring cup. Then the smell made me want to vomit.
Red wine is nice. Bitter and Dry. I like a good pucker. White is ok also. Red Wine after about three glasses makes me a bit warm and sleepy. Lena also enjoys a good red wine.
Bacardi and Coke is my usual. I used to be able to handle my alcohol, if that is the case, and stop at three. One drink for myself before I would attempt at being social with anyone. Two was the social drink where I would look and start socializing and putting in request for music. Three was for the courage to go out dancing and work off the buzz.
Many a times I have been barred from Sportsman's Athletic Club intown, mostly for music issues – breaking my own CD’s from a DJ refusing to return them to unplugging the cords to the system. I cannot say I had a clean appropriate mouth if the music wasn’t danceable. My entertainment went to shits and now I need to find some other type of entertainment…the people.
Could it be what the ego and the id are? I think its time for a visit to Freud.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Generational Care
I sat there smoking with my friend Heather after making a batch of cookies with Pam and Evan. At first, the intention was popcorn balls. But after consulting Google about how to freeze popcorn balls people posted that popcorn is not good to freeze. When it thaws out is makes the popcorn balls soggy; something my dad on the way home tonight commenting on how that happens with bread too. I walked in and place my baking bag; nothing more then those green bags Shaws sells near checkout.. or was it Wal-Mart?, anyways, on the table aside the basket of folded up laundry. Which I later put onto the chair next to the window spotting an updated application to look like it was stained glass, very nice indeed. I starting pulling the stuff out on the table that we would need. I took the vanilla out of my bag along with the baking soda and the stick of butter, and grabbed one out of the fridge and placed it on the sideboard. Nikki was doing dishes with one part of the headphones on her ear and the other side was lifted up, so she could listen to her ipod and also here what is going on around her. Pam throws a small outburst because Nikki and I decide it would be better activity for their school vacation. So then resumed wiping dishes while Evan was upstairs cleaning his room and moving the toys into the closet. I went up to check on him. I stood at the top of stairs and listened...there was noise, but as I peered around the bend of the wall he was on one side toys and belongings scattered around the floor. I told him five minutes. I went downstairs and started with Pam with the 2 eggs, tsp vanilla, dash of salt, tsp baking soda , 2 sticks or 1 cup of butter thawed,and 3/4 cup of white and brown sugars. Pam cracked the eggs on the side of the table, after I told her it would be wiser to do this over the sink...she opened it over the sink, but still cracked on the table. "No shells" she said. Next she added the rest of the other ingredients and Evan came down to do 1 stick of butter and mix while he and I added 2 1/2 cups of flour. Next they spooned in 1/2 bag of chocolate chips and 1/2 bag peanut butter chips and licked their spoons and started working on the beaters. "Sometimes the batter is better then the cookie" Pam said. Then Evan and Pam had their own pan and spooned the dough and put them in a 375 oven for ten minutes. The first batch, because of the oven temperature, were burned on the bottoms. The second batch went into the over lowered to 325 for 10minutes and placed the cookie sheet on the third notch. I allowed Pam and Evan they could have two cookies and the spoon/bowl, but they need to do the dishes after. Each taking turns did all the dishes - except the pans which I did. The second batch came out perfectly browned and chewy. Reminder to always take them out a little sooner then a recipe calls for. Insert a toothpick or knife into one of the cookies gently and pull back. If it comes out clear, chocolate or peanut butter does not count, clear. We put them on the table and scooped them into a bag moments later. So, upstairs I was finishing a cup of coffee and smoking a cigarette. Heather tells me of the classes she wants to take... I am not sure if she thought the company was going to pay for them all or what, Principles of Supervision and something else. I then got a phone call from Amy, my dad needed a ride because he was at my grandfathers. Meanwhile on the other cell phone, Becky called as Pam brought i up to me. So i sat there in the chair with Amy talking in my left ear and Becky in my right ear. "Ok" I say "I'll pick up dah at papae's house in twenty minutes." After I finish my coffee and Allison tells me about her current cheerleading practices, I proclaim I must go to pick up my dad. I got to my grandfather's house and pulled in behind my grandfathers car. I walk up the stairs and into the hall, my dad and grandfather are there. "Are you ready" I ask my dad. "Yup" he responds. We get into my car and it is silent, besides Ryan Seacrest's American Top 40 playing. "You still making popcorn calls?" "No, we decided to make cookies instead. I guess popcorn balls don't freeze well. They come out soggy after you thaw them out." I tell him while adjusting the heater in the car.
"Bread is like that to." he stated. Then we start to talk about papae. John is working/driving and is away. I tell my dad who is watching out for papae, he needs a chauffeur or someone to care for him some. What happens if he goes outside and slips on some ice. My dad confessed to papae eating premade stuff, nothing homemade, which is sad. Mamae always was cooking something. just sits there in the kitchen and nukes up something in the microwave. "I always remembered the table being full of different kinds of food when I ate over. Now Papae needs to go into some sort or retirement home. There are people his age to socialize with, which is good. Who does the shopping anyways?" I ask my dad. "John probably; all he eats is ready made stuff." Something my dad has always become aware in his home. My mother does not cook; her current food choices are: noodle soup, egg noodles with friend onions, fried hamburger buns with mustard, or microwavable french fries. "Well I thinks it was nice of you to bring papae home; we don't need him a ditch r anything" I tell my father as we pull into the parking lot and I walk into my room passing: Aunt Tina, Uncle Romeo, Marie, Becky and her kids, and start writing while listening to Amsterdam Dance Event Tunes 2008 .
"Bread is like that to." he stated. Then we start to talk about papae. John is working/driving and is away. I tell my dad who is watching out for papae, he needs a chauffeur or someone to care for him some. What happens if he goes outside and slips on some ice. My dad confessed to papae eating premade stuff, nothing homemade, which is sad. Mamae always was cooking something. just sits there in the kitchen and nukes up something in the microwave. "I always remembered the table being full of different kinds of food when I ate over. Now Papae needs to go into some sort or retirement home. There are people his age to socialize with, which is good. Who does the shopping anyways?" I ask my dad. "John probably; all he eats is ready made stuff." Something my dad has always become aware in his home. My mother does not cook; her current food choices are: noodle soup, egg noodles with friend onions, fried hamburger buns with mustard, or microwavable french fries. "Well I thinks it was nice of you to bring papae home; we don't need him a ditch r anything" I tell my father as we pull into the parking lot and I walk into my room passing: Aunt Tina, Uncle Romeo, Marie, Becky and her kids, and start writing while listening to Amsterdam Dance Event Tunes 2008 .
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